To sleep, perchance to dream... if bloody only
My beautiful little sleep thief
It's 2017 folks! I'm feeling cautiously optimistic. Usually for new year I make a whole load of decisions about life and how I'm going to handle things going forward, and I start new projects and generally feel motivated to make changes. But this year I haven't had the energy. Mostly, I have realised, this is because I am obsessed with Daphne's sleep. Or more specifically, her lovely new habit: early rising.
It's beyond ironic that you can dream for months of your baby sleeping through the night, believing that once that happens, everything will be fine and dandy and you will be reborn, back to your old self, fizzing with energy all day. HA. Daphne does indeed now sleep through the night, and it's great. To a degree. However, the unwanted side effect of this is that she now thinks the day should start at around 5.20am. And there ain't no getting her back to sleep after that time (we have tried EVERYTHING but unless we get up with her, she screams and screams).
Having my day start with a 5 basically makes me feel like I am permanently jetlagged. It is far more exhausting than being woken in the night. I would actually go back to a 2am wake up, if it meant that the day didn't have to start till 7am, or even 7.30 (what a treat!). It's been suggested that I should adjust my own sleep schedule to accommodate it (going to bed at 9pm or whatever - ugh) but I really do believe that biologically people are wired differently. I am a night owl, and my most alert and awake times are in the evening, after dinner - it's the time I do most of my creative writing. Before I had a baby if I woke before 8, I'd feel pretty knackered for the day. My body clock just does not agree with super early mornings, and when they're pitch dark and freezing, as the heating hasn't even come on yet, then they're even more hideous.
I won't bore you any more with what I've been trying to sort this problem out until I find something that works. When I do, I'm going to patent that shit and market it to all the other sleep-deprived parents of toddlers and make my fortune. This morning she slept til 6am, so there is hope. I think. I pray. I am so jealous of people whose babies sleep from 7pm-7am every night. I am SO jealous. And I don't get jealous.
Good things about 2017: Daphne starts at the childminder's next week. I will have a whole day per week to myself to work. I need to finish my novel, and that really must take priority, but I also desperately want to get another project off the ground that's been bugging me for nearly a year now, and also decide what on earth I am going to do with this blog. But like I said, before my brain can wrap its knackered matter around that little lot, I need to sort out this sleep thing. So please please please - wish me luck (and leave me any suggestions you think might work!)!