Review: Jemima changing bag from Jem + Bea
If you've read my blog for a while (or know me in real life), you'll know that I am rather obsessed with handbags. Handbags are my thing - the thing that I waste the most money on, and the things that I most love buying. I justify this by saying they last so long (if you buy good quality), you use them every day and they always 'fit'. Anyway, I have a lot of handbags, most of which cost too much money.
When I got pregnant, one of the first things I bought was a Pac a Pod nappy bag. I did tons of research before buying (I am very very fussy when it comes to bags) and was really disappointed in the choice available. The Pac a Pod was the best of a bad lot, in my opinion - it seemed pleasingly unisex, with lots of handy compartments. I didn't love it, but it was the nicest one I saw.
Once Daph was born however, it started to REALLY annoy me - the design I bought meant that it was constantly bulging at the seams and wouldn't do up - once the pods were placed in the bag, with a few other things added, the side flap just wouldn't zip together. The 'grown up section' was just a bottomless pit and I could never find what I needed without rummaging for ages. It was really irritating and after a few months I replaced it with an impulse-purchase Skip Hop (this one). It's pretty ugly (a kind of garish geometric pattern) but I thought the shape would be better as it was more like a record bag, and had a flap instead of a zip. But then Daphne decided to push it off a chair in a busy restaurant, the flap, er, flapped open, my entire world skittered out across the floor and I found myself scrabbling around to pick everything up, with my bum hanging out of the back of my jeans and Daph screaming in my ear. That was the end of the Skip Hop's lifespan.
Bear with me, I know. Three nappy bags for a baby that's not even nine months old yet - some may say I have issues. But I decided it was time to invest some serious money and - most importantly - buy a bag that was bloody big enough for ALL MY SHIT. Clearly, I cannot go out with the baby without taking most of the contents of my home with me. Over-anxious first-time mother syndrome. Ahem.
I did some googling and came across Jem + Bea. I instantly liked their bags because a) they look like handbags but at the same time I don't think Oli would mind carrying them and b) they looked BIG. With lots of pockets. And sturdy zips. I promise I wasn't influenced (much) by the fact that one of their designers used to work for Mulberry.
I spent a few days trying to decide which of their designs to go for, and in the end chose their Jemima bag. It's won awards, seemed to be the biggest of the bunch with the most compartments, and most importantly had a great big solid-looking zip running down the middle.
It arrived last week and I LOVE it. It is huge. Like, almost an overnight bag. It's made of leather and is properly heavy. But I don't care because I don't have to carry the thing - it hangs quite happily off the buggy. It kind of looks a bit briefcasey or even doctor's casey but I like that. It has a zillion different pockets, all of which are roomy and useful and when it arrived I spent a gleeful twenty minutes arranging all Daph's and my bits and pieces into the various different sections. I keep walking past it in the hall and smiling.
It even comes with a cute little mini pouch for you to stash things like lip balm, chewing gum, hairbands and all the stuff that always ends up falling to the bottom of your bag never to be seen again.
Oh and on a practical note, it has all the usual touches, like a loop for your keys, a nice big soft changing mat and even an insulated bottle sleeve.
My only quibble? The colour. It comes in Tan or Black. I hate black handbags - just a daft little quirk of mine, but I refuse to buy black handbags. Too depressing, too sombre, too dull. So I went for the Tan. But I'm not really a Tan kind of girl - I tend to wear grey more than brown. And it is quite 'tan' - a bit orangey in the flesh. I know it will age nicely and the leather will develop its own patina, but I do wish they did a grey version. If they had, I would be in heaven.
I'm not going to lie - it's not a cheap buy. I did think long and hard about splashing the cash before going for it, but now I'm really glad I did. It's SO much more practical than my other two disaster changing bags, and it also looks bloody lovely.
It's so lovely, that now, of course, I want to buy their uber cool Marlow Camo bag. How nice would THAT be for summer picnics in the park?! But I think if I do, Oli will never speak to me again (there's no space in our wardrobe for his clothes because it's full of handbags...).
Eight month baby update
Where to start with Daph's eight month update? First of all, she is HUGE. I can't wait for our next trip to the health visitor to find out exactly how much she weighs now and how long she is - I swear she must be off the charts now especially with her height. She seems so long and, well, big. Not so chubby any more (although she does have a rather cute pot belly) but just big in every way - her head, her feet, her hands - all of it! I think she's going to be a giant. I know there's no way of telling how a person will end up from what they were like as a baby but I just can't see her being a delicate little petite child somehow!
She's such a little character now - and a really tough crowd. She'll have the odd day of finding everything funny, and then won't laugh for a week. Making faces at her that she hasn't seen before may get you a little chuckle but you can almost tell she's fighting it, as if she's really NOT that impressed you know, and once she's seen something once then it's no longer funny, mum, so stop doing it over and over again. She's very particular about who she'll smile at - she liked some of the female estate agents we've seen lately but the male ones were mostly met with looks of distrust. Wise beyond her years! And she'll have days where Daddy is her favourite and gets all the smiles, and days when I'm deemed the best.
Milestone-wise, I reckon she's a little behind average. She can sit now, pretty well, but often launches herself backwards in the middle of sitting and ends up falling on her back. I noticed just yesterday she was doing a bit of rocking on her bum, and reaching forward with her hands, which I think means she's about to crawl?! But knowing Daph she won't bother until she's about 1. If we put her on her tummy she screams and wriggles (often moving backwards inadvertently) and generally looks pissed off with us. Or rolls straight back onto her back. She's got the rolling down, finally, but still doesn't do it unless she ABSOLUTELY HAS TO. She can support her own weight really well though, and will stand easily if you hold her hands.
She isn't babbling yet - but she does do a good line in screaming. And blowing raspberries - her new favourite thing. She'll also make sort of sing-song noises when you're feeding her, which are quite interesting. But otherwise, to get your attention she'll whine (gah I hate whining!) or bang things like her hands on the table or her feet against her chair.
Food is still a hit, thankfully, and she's tried pretty much everything she's allowed now, all to great success. Apart from avocado. She really doesn't get that one. I love watching her eat - she's a total piglet and will always finish her meal and open her mouth for more. I've been quite lazy at letting her feed herself (mostly just to save time), and must make a conscious effort going forward to give her more opportunity to do so. She can easily hold a rice cracker and feed herself with it, it just takes FOREVER and lots of it ends up on the floor... luckily she's quite a neat eater, but I suspect this is because we haven't done baby-led weaning so I get to spoon everything into her mouth quite tidily!
I've been trying to cut down her milk as I noticed with alarm she's only meant to have three 7oz bottles at her age. Currently she still has five bottles per day (!) which vary between 5-7oz. I try not to let her finish them if she doesn't seem that bothered, and I'm desperate to drop the dream feed at 11pm (not least because it interrupts my only bit of me-time all day). But we tried it one night and she woke up at 1am starving hungry so I think I'll have to try to phase it out gradually. I'm confused about the milk versus food thing and exactly how much she should be having of each - I know there's that expression 'food before one is just for fun' but I'm SURE she doesn't need all this milk as well as her three proper meals.
She's sleeping pretty well these days and has settled into quite a nice nap routine of 9am-10.30am, then 12.30-1.30/2pm and then another little power nap at 4pm for about half an hour. Bedtime at 7pm, dreamfeed between 10-11pm and then up for the day usually at 6.30am. I'd love her to sleep longer at night but she absolutely can't do without her three naps - she goes ballistic at bedtime if she hasn't slept enough during the day.
I feel I must also mention her hair, which is growing thick and fast. It can't seem to decide what colour it is - the back of her head looks a lovely golden blonde, but the front (where she's sporting a rather fetching toupee style) is much darker and almost a light brown. Her eyes are definitely blue though, and a lovely dark grey-blue too.
Last but not least for this month, she has her top two front teeth now! They are SO CUTE. They came through last week and we had three nights of crying and generally being miserable, but now they're through she's back to her normal self. It's amazing seeing her with four little teeth and I can't wait to get a proper photo of her smiling with them all showing!
Seven month baby update
Last week, Daphne turned seven months old! And celebrated the occasion with a monumental growth spurt - I swear, she is TALL now. When I stand her up (she loves standing while holding my hands) she reaches the top of my head if I'm sitting on the floor with her - it's crazy. Her little neck is lengthening now and to me, she looks like a child more than a baby (I know, she still looks like a baby really - but her face is maturing).
I felt quite emotional about her turning seven months - almost really relieved somehow, as though at seven months she is somehow less vulnerable and fragile. I love the fact that now she can eat almost anything she likes, and she's happily graduated onto the more grown up Ella's Kitchen pouches. Yesterday she had macaroni cheese and loved it, and I'm trying her on spaghetti bolognese later. As for weaning, it's going really really well - she'll eat pretty much anything and also loves drinking water out of my glass too - I've tried giving her her own beaker but she much prefers drinking from my glass. Which is very cute apart from the backwash. She just wants to copy everything we eat and drink at the moment and is happily munching her way through cheese, rice cakes, cucumber and any soft fruit. The only thing that doesn't agree with her are yoghurts - we've tried a few times now and they come straight back up. Do I have the only baby in the world who doesn't like yoghurt?!
We've been pretty lazy on the weaning front when it comes to making her things from scratch - I do feel guilty about this but also I like the fact that she can try a huge variety of things easily with the Ella's Kitchen pouches - making that range of food at home would cost a fortune and we only have a tiny freezer compartment so it wouldn't really be practical to make huge batches and freeze them. I think life's too short to worry too much about these things when she only eats tiny portions (they are organic after all!) and she'll have plenty of homecooked food in her lifetime. Just don't tell anyone on Mumsnet.
She has three 'meals' a day now, alongside her milk (five bottles of 7oz, although she doesn't often finish the daytime ones). She has baby porridge with prunes in (to keep her regular, ahem, and to make sure she poos during the day rather than at night) for breakfast, then lunch is finger food such as bits of toast with cheese and cooked veg, then dinner is a proper 'meal' with protein in like chicken casserole. She also has water with each meal which she loves - she actually prefers water to her milk now which has been a bit worrying. I've not tried her on anything else like watered-down juice, in case she gives up milk completely.
Other than that - sleeping has been much better! She has slept through (touch wood!) most nights the past fortnight - although she always wakes up super bloody early - like 5.30am, which is quite exhausting in itself. However, I'm confident (is this wise? am I jinxing myself? probably) that now she's got the hang of not eating at night she'll eventually start sleeping later - fingers crossed. We didn't really do anything differently to get her to sleep through - except for not letting her fall asleep while having her final bottle of the day, as this means when she wakes up in the night and the bottle is gone, she doesn't freak out but can put herself back to sleep. It's all about sleep associations or something... anyway it's worked! It's been so nice to have some long uninterrupted bouts of sleep over the past two weeks. I actually can't believe I survived so long on so little sleep up till now - it's kind of crazy what you can deal with if you don't have any choice...
She's 'talking' a lot more now, making all kinds of weird and wonderful noises, including some epic laughing fits at nothing in particular. She's also cottoned on to the fact that if she coughs she gets attention so she is constantly coughing for no reason - very sneaky! We always rush to her to see what's going on but she's always totally bloody fine and stops coughing the moment she sees us and starts smiling.
I have a feeling already that she'll be a bit of a diva - she gets a lot of attention from both of us and I do worry that perhaps we're setting ourselves up for trouble in the future. Although I keep reading that you can't spoil a baby with love, so that makes me feel better about it. And I do love her - goodness me, she's just absolutely my favourite person ever, endlessly fascinating and entertaining.
She's a lazy lump though. Seven months old and although she CAN roll if she wants to, she rarely bothers, and as for sitting up - it's mostly too much of a hassle and she'd prefer to be held upright on your lap thank you very much. Obviously there's absolutely no sign of crawling from her either - but apparently I didn't crawl until I was one (! this explains why I was always last to be picked for netball) so I guess she takes after me in that regard. Let's face it, with us as parents she was never going to be a gymnast...
PS just read this back and realised it reads like it's sponsored by Ella's Kitchen. I promise it's not! Although if they want to sponsor me and send me a few pouches, it'd save us a fortune ;)
The truth about health visitors
Only people who have children even know that health visitors are A THING.
Health visitors don't visit. At least, not after your baby is a week old.
No one knows exactly what health visitors are. Senior nurses? Junior nurses? Random people who like babies?
A health visitor's favourite question is 'Are you breastfeeding?' ARE YOU BREASTFEEDING ARE YOU BREASTFEEDING ARE YOU BREASTFEEDING I AM A ROBOT AND HAVE TO ASK YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE HOLDING A BOTTLE
(Ahem. Sorry about that.)
Health visitors have a lot of leaflets.
Health visitors believe that leaflets can solve ALL THINGS.
If they don't have a leaflet for it, health visitors will tell you to go to your GP.
Health visitors always have a trainee with them. Always.
A health visitor's favourite skill is weighing your baby. They are very comfortable doing this, and don't use leaflets when doing it.
Health visitors tell you your babies weight in kg. This will mean nothing to you. TIME FOR THE BREXIT.
Health visitors are the only ones that can navigate successfully around The Red Book. SO MANY PAGES AND FOLD OUT BITS AND CHARTS WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN
If you ask your health visitor to measure your baby, she will tell you that it's not necessary again until she is one. If you ask if they can do it anyway 'seeing as we're here' they will tell you that now the baby has her nappy back on it will skew the measurements. Uh huh.
Everyone sitting in waiting area to see the health visitor is desperately hoping their baby won't be the one that starts screaming.
Baby clinics are heated to approximately 45 degrees. (To make sure the babies don't get cold). Everyone will sweat and the whole place smells of warm baby poo.
You will queue for three hours to see the health visitor for ten minutes.
If you live in London, your health visitor clinic will have friendly posters up in the waiting area saying things like 'This clinic is really busy. Could you possibly try the other one in your district, even though it's three miles away? Kthanksbye'
There will also be posters telling you to LEAVE BUGGIES OUTSIDE. Everyone will ignore them.
Health visitors are probably very nice people. At least they like babies, unlike your GP.
(Disclaimer: this is written from a place of love. Sorry to any health visitors out there!)
Read the truth about parenting sleep deprivation >
Read the truth about life with a newborn >
My first mother's day
Well, not my first mother's day EVER of course, but my first as a mother! It started, in true Daphne style, at 1am, when she decided to wake up ridiculously early for her middle-of-the-night feed (yes, the one we're trying to cut out, but failing). It then continued at 4am when she woke up again, this time bawling her eyes out, and I only had to go into the hallway to smell the reason why. So that was nice: a 4am poo to wish me a happy mother's day. You've got to love her style.
Anyway I'm grateful that my gentleman companion said he'd get up with her at 6am (by then she had decided that it was time for the day to start - THANK YOU VERY MUCH BUT I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THAT BLOODY COT MOBILE NOW) and I had a lie-in until 9, which was much needed. I was given some stunning flowers and a card she apparently picked herself (Oli said he was looking at them in the shop and he looked down and she'd pulled one off the shelf, which is very like her as she's grabbing everything at the moment - so of course he had to buy that one. Luckily it had a bunny on it and was suitably cute). Then we went off to my parents' for a mother's day lunch with the family.
It's very strange to think I am a mother, and it doesn't feel how I imagined it would. I'm not sure that any of the 'having a baby' thing has really sunk in just yet, but that's because my focus is so constantly and entirely on Daphne and her needs, and I haven't really bothered to think about myself in the context of 'being a mother' really. And I suppose that's what being a mother is all about - not thinking about yourself first anymore. Daphne is the only person I would willingly get out of bed at 4am for when it's -2 degrees outside and only 16 degrees inside, and the only person for whom I'll sit in the car after arriving at my destination for forty minutes in order to ensure she has a long enough nap. I worry about her far more than I ever worried about myself (I'm not really much of a worrier) - in fact, Daphne has made me completely neurotic and I am aware that I am total control freak when it comes to her. I need to loosen up a bit lot. But I'm so protective of her because of the issues I had during pregnancy, and then she was so small when she was born, with all the problems that that involved. I feel like she's a really sensitive baby, who's overstimulated easily and loves routine and I am anxious to ensure that she doesn't ever get overwhelmed. But I'm sure my anxiety rubs off and affects her too - and that means I need to chill the fuck out a bit and learn to relax.
Before I ever even got pregnant, I noticed that my friends who were a bit more highly strung about their kids seemed to have more highly strung children, and my laid-back friends had 'easy' babies. Not sure if it was just coincidence in those cases but I remember registering it and thinking that if I ever had a baby I'd have to make a conscious effort to be relaxed and laid-back - HA HA HA. Not so easy when you're in the thick of it - I'm probably the least relaxed and laid-back mother on the planet. In my defence, four months of colic will do that to you. But every day she seems a little bit calmer and a little bit happier - I hope as she grows and seems better able to cope with things I'll feel more confident on her behalf.
Phew! This is a bit of a stream of consciousness. Not quite what I had in mind for today's post but there you go. Sometimes it's good to get these thoughts down on... a computer screen.
What I really meant to say was... happy mother's day mums! I'm SO happy to be in your club and I think you're all bloomin' amazing. Including my own mum - who's also proving herself to be the most stellar grandmother too. We're lucky to have you.
Daphne's wardrobe - tips on buying baby clothes
I'm not going to lie, when I found out I was having a girl, I was immensely excited by the dress-her-up-in-teeny-dresses possibilities. I literally couldn't wait to get out to the shops and start buying stuff (but I was really superstitious I'd have a miscarriage so I held off for as long as I could bear). Anyway, before she was even born, Miss Daph had a whole load of lovely little outfits, most of which she either wore once or... never at all.
I know that everyone knows this, but you sort of don't REALLY realise it until it's in front of you - babies grow ridiculously quickly. Like, overnight. Even though Daph was a teeny tiny 5lb baby, some of the first bits we bought her lasted only two weeks. They're now tucked away in her baby keepsake box and every now and then I get them out and stare at how small they are and sniff at the memory.
As she's grown, I've tried to hold back a bit more on buying ALL the cute outfits, because really, it's a waste of money. It's lovely to see her looking sweet and dressed up, but it's also horribly painful packing away tiny velvet dresses and beautifully embroidered cardigans that I know she only wore once. I've been putting all the stuff she's grown out of in one of those laundry-bag things from JoJo Maman and it's already full - and those bags aren't small! I don't really know what to do with all her clothes - I'm saving them in case we have a number 2 (the jury's still out on whether we'll try to do that - how do people deal with sleepless nights, a baby AND a toddler?!) but there's still far too many, and I'm considering donating a lot of them to charity and only keeping my favourites.
Anyway, in the six and a bit months since we've had her, I've learnt a few lessons when it comes to buying baby clothes. Here's my tuppence worth, to help save some of your tuppences...
- You will mostly want to dress your baby in babygrows (sleepsuits) and vests. Honestly. Trousers, skirts, tights, dungarees - all the rest of it - they're just a bit of a faff. Lovely to look at but you'll save them for 'occasion' days when you're having lunch with the family or feel you can be bothered to wrestle with baby tights after changing a nappy. The rest of the time your baby will be wearing, pooing and throwing up on babygrows. So buy more of them and less of everything else.
- My friend Emma was right about baby socks. They are a waste of time. They fall off, they get lost, they are a bit pointless (even with those sock-on things).
- All the clothes you buy should have at least three months' growth in them, or you will hate yourself. This is my new technique - buying everything slightly too big. As Daph was small when she was born, most of the clothes she had were too big and it actually didn't matter - sleeves and trouser legs can be rolled up and it makes putting things on easier as they have plenty of 'stretch' room.
- Always buy coats in the next size up. Babies hate putting on coats and the bigger they are, the easier it is for you. I stupidly bought an adorable Joules jacket for Daph in size 3-6months and it was snug even when I got it - suffice to say she grew out of it in about a week and now it just hangs on the back of her door taunting me (£30!!!)
- On the subject of coats, we've found that cardigans with hoods are WAY easier to get on and off and make good substitutes.
- Petit Bateau do the most beautiful baby clothes known to mankind but they cost an absolute fortune. Unless you have parents who regularly do booze cruises to France. In which case, tell them to pop into an hypermarché on the way home, where they can buy all the PB you desire but at half the price. ;)
- Marks & Spencer's children's clothes are absolutely bloody phenomenal. I am obsessed. The cotton is amazing quality, the designs are fun and contemporary, they are really good value (£13 for five vests!!) and they have loads of cute outfits too (if you don't have the willpower to stay away from those rails). And their babygrows have a DIFFERENT COLOUR POPPER for the confusing popper at the crotch. Genius (this will only make sense to you if you regularly popper up a baby in a sleepsuit). They also do much cheaper sleeping bags than the market-leading Grobag, with a much better way of fastening the zip too (IMO).
- JoJo Maman Bebe rule the babygrows. Yes, everyone else's baby has the pink elephants one too, but they are such lovely thick cotton and the designs are really interesting. They're not cheap at all but they do quite often do sales online, so look out for them, and if you get a loyalty card you get stamps every time you spend a certain amount that turn into £15 off once you've collected enough.
- Babies look boring in neutral tones like grey and white. Well, my baby does anyway. Bold colours and patterns are SO much cuter.
- Small babies don't need pyjamas. They sleep in sleepsuits. Clue's in the name. You'll worry about their feet getting cold otherwise.
- TK Maxx has loads of lovely baby clothes from the likes of Ralph Lauren. DEFINITELY worth a visit if you're looking for something special.
- Baby Gap stuff is as lovely as you thought it was, but eye-wateringly pricey.
So yes, that's what I've learnt about dressing babies since having my own little pudding. Anyone got any tips they'd like to share? Leave a comment below!
Six month baby update
Happy half birthday little one! We took these pictures of you several days after your actual half birthday as you were a right grumpy moo that day, and definitely not up for photoshoots. But today follows the first night when you have slept through, from an amazing midnight to 6.45 (so, not exactly a lie in for us, but definitely an improvement). And to top everything off, this morning when I got up and said hello to you, you squeaked with giggles at me, despite the fact you've got a bit of a cold at the moment. You are THE BEST.
It's incredible to think that Daphne has been around for half a year already, but at the same time it feels like SO much longer than that. Emotionally, I've experienced more than I had in the previous ten years before she was born put together (and that's saying a lot, considering I got married and divorced in that timeframe!). It's so true all those sickly cliches about motherhood opening up a part of your heart you didn't know existed - I used to roll my eyes at all that stuff, but now I'm the same soppy sucker.
At six months, Daphne is the proud owner of two bottom teeth - the first one came through when she was about five and a half months old, followed by the second just last week. I'd love to get a picture of them but it's really hard - unless she opens her mouth really wide (which usually only happens if she's screaming!) her tongue is always in the way. But they're definitely there, and thank god - because the teething process was as properly horrible as I had anticipated, with lots of nightwaking screaming and suchlike. We resorted to Calpol a few times and it didn't seem to have much of an effect, neither did the teething powders unfortunately. Dentinox teething gel worked quite well the first time I gave it to her smeared on a dummy, but she soon got wise to it and once it was sucked off spat the dummy out and started screaming again. I'm quite dreading the next set of teeth coming through - poor babies, it must be horrible.
On the subject of dummies, Daphne has almost completely weaned herself off them. They were quite effective at getting her to sleep when she was younger, but now she usually spits them straight out. Sometimes she likes one if she's in the car seat but I can see that we'll be chucking them away soon. Which is good, in many respects, as I was paranoid about her becoming hooked on them, but bad in the sense that they were really good at settling her in the past, and I have no alternative tricks up my sleeve.
This week though, on the advice of my friend Julia (thanks J!), I started giving her a Jellycat rabbit to cuddle when she goes to bed every night, and I don't know if it's just coincidence or the fact we started a bit of controversial sleep training (more on that next) but since then she's been sleeping much much better. I even noticed she's started sucking on his ear in the middle of the night so he's definitely comforting her. I slept with him for a few nights first (which was quite funny, I came in to see Oli had made the bed with the rabbit 'tucked in' on my side) so that he smelt of me (NICE) and she definitely nuzzled her face against him when I gave him to her. He still needs a name though, as currently we are calling him Bunny. Original much?
So sleep - yes. Daphne was becoming one of those stereotypical nightmare sleepers, waking every hour between 2am and 6am, screaming her head off, and nothing could be done to comfort her. That was the weirdest thing. I would go in, try to cuddle her, or offer her a feed, but still she would scream, like she was angry at me because she wanted to sleep and it was MY FAULT she couldn't. We tried Calpol in case she was in pain, but that didn't help either. It was after one particularly horrendous night, when she was awake from about 8pm until 3.30am, and NOTHING I did settled her, that I decided we had to try something different.
So the next night we did the controlled crying thing. Yes I know it's controversial but I looked into it properly beforehand, and was reassured by several people that the stories of the raised cortisol stuff has very little scientific backing. Anyway, it was horrible, horrible, horrible. But actually she only cried for about ten minutes before falling asleep. The next night we tried it again, but every time I went in to check on her she cried even more - like I said, it was almost as though I was preventing her from learning how to sleep by going in and disturbing her all the time. So I stood outside the door and tried to shush her through it, and just waited. And it was hideous and I probably cried more than her, but she went to sleep and didn't wake for five hours.
Every night since then she's got better. The crying is now down to literally three minutes or so and more just moaning than crying - certainly no screaming, and her stretches of sleep are getting longer and longer. Last night she slept from 6pm to midnight, when she woke up and was clearly hungry. I fed her a bottle, put her back down in bed awake, and she chatted to herself a bit before falling asleep again until this morning. I'm not going to get cocky because I know that things with babies can change so much so quickly, but it's just lovely to know that she's getting some real, decent sleep, instead of these crappy hours here and there that were making her so grumpy and upset.
The weird thing is though, since she's started sleeping better at night, her naps have gone completely haywire. She was great at napping before (mostly worn out from her wakeful nights I guess), now she's a mess. Sigh. Swings and roundabouts I suppose!
What else can I say about six months? Well, she's certainly 'chatting' more, making all kinds of weird and wonderful noises (including a week of non-stop screeching which was really fun - she decided it was a great sound and would make it at every available opportunity but especially when mummy was out having lunch surrounded by people without kids. You've never truly been embarrassed until you've looked up to see EVERYONE in the cafe staring at you in disgust. Although may I suggest to the man who sat next to me on a shared table and frowned at us as he was trying to make a VERY IMPORTANT WORK CALL that he is a bit of a wanker and that possibly a coffee shop is not the best place to be doing VERY IMPORTANT WORK).
Physically, she's definitely taller than she was and maybe not quite so plump. She's still not great at rolling - she'll do it once maybe then decide it's a waste of time, but her hand-eye coordination is much better and she can grab things and pass them from one hand to another really easily. She's also constantly doing sit-ups, which make me laugh - she's trying SO hard to pull her back up to a seated position, bless her. I'm really looking forward to her being able to sit up on her own as I think it'll make playing with toys so much more fun.
And a quick update about me. When Daphne was first born I read everywhere that by six months I should be back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Well I AM NOT. I'm still the same as I was before Christmas, when I gave up dieting. I'm about seven (OK, OK, ten) pounds heavier than I was before. This is probably linked to my utter lack of general movement over the last two months - this miserable weather has seen me hibernating and driving places instead of walking. I stopped doing my exercise programme and I'm generally eating and drinking a lot more than I was at the end of last year. So I really need to get that sorted and have resolved to start in March, or once the weather cheers up. I will say that I've been absolutely KNACKERED since the four-month sleep regression thing took hold, so finding the energy to exercise has been really tough. Plus my sugar cravings are off the scale. I really should try to give up sugar but it sounds so depressing... any advice on that gratefully received!
Midweek Musings: Weaning trials and sleep success
*warning - baby-heavy post!*
I'm writing this after having mopped both Daphne and myself down following an incident which will now be referred to as Butternut Squash Gate. Yesterday her evil Feeder Mother gave her two huge cubes of butternut squash puree, and felt all proud and pleased as she gobbled the entire lot down. Not realising that there is such a thing as too much roughage when you are just under six months old. Ever since, butternut squash has been coming out of both ends (the stuff from the top end going straight down my bra - lovely!), accompanied by lots of tears and gigantic farts. She's finally fallen asleep in exhaustion. I'm so sorry little Chippy.
How much food is too much food for a six-month-old baby? I have literally no idea. Once again it strikes me as crazy that I am responsible for this delicate little baby's LIFE and yet I know more about looking after my Macbook. We've got the Annabel Karmel weaning book but nowhere does it really suggest any ideas for portion size - it's all that same old guff about not worrying if they don't eat much more than a teaspoon. HA. Chip says sit her in front of a 6oz steak and she'll quite happily put the whole thing away, then cry all night with tummy ache. One way to learn about cause and effect I suppose.
I do wish there were clearer guidelines about how much to feed babies and when - it all seems so confusing and there's so much different advice out there. I really am making it all up as I go along. Maybe I'm just really thick but I don't have any instincts as to how much is too much! We were going to do baby-led weaning but Chip was obviously so hungry all the time - when we ate she would watch us and open her little mouth in expectation - but she's not quite mastered the hand-eye coordination thing enough to put a carrot stick in her mouth yet. So we've been spooning puree in, and she's loved it all (except for spinach, which is probably fair enough). Her favourite thing is 'biscuits' (mashed up Farley's Rusks with milk) and she could eat that all day long. I was giving it to her as a kind of supper because I thought it would help fill her tummy before bed, and was quite pleased about it but then I googled rusks and everyone on Mumsnet said they were horrific and full of sugar and I'd be better off giving her a Mars bar. So that made me feel quite terrible - even though we'd bought the reduced sugar ones. Sigh.
It's a minefield. I miss the days of trying to choose between two cartoons of formula that were ostensibly the same anyway. Much easier.
On a more upbeat note, Daphne is finally sleeping in her own room at night! We've even taken down the bedside cot! We moved her in a bit early (the guidelines say that babies should sleep in a room with you until they are six months' old) because she was already napping in there and we were really reaching the end of our tethers with the exhaustion thing. It's made me happy and sad all at once - but mostly happy because we've actually had a few relatively decent nights' sleep since she moved in there about a week ago. She obviously prefers the bigger cot with more space to stretch out, and I am sure that she prefers not having to hear her mum and dad grunting (hmm, that makes it sounds as though we're having conjugal relations, which is definitely not a priority right now) and snoring away next to her at night too, or waking her up when they come to bed at 11pm.
It is a bit weird not having her next to me though, and last night in the middle of Butternut Squash Gate she was waking up every hour or so in constant pain with wind so I gave up and brought her into our bed again (which I secretly loved). I think if she's ever poorly I'm going to use it as an excuse to have more baby cuddles in our bed - it was one of my favourite parts of when she was little - there's really nothing nicer than having a sleeping baby snoozing on your shoulder...
It is bittersweet now when we put her to bed at night, tucking her in and leaving her to it. She's already starting to become independent... sniff sniff!
She's also started to do a lovely long nap at lunchtime which is definitely the most exciting thing to happen to me for years. Or this year at least. I sometimes even get two hours to myself in the middle of the day to do stuff, and IT IS BRILLIANT.
Finally, we've finished Making a Murderer. Thanks to whoever recommended it to me - what little chance of sleep I had before has now disappeared thanks to my new late-night googling sessions of 'who might have killed Teresa Halbach?' and 'why did Brendan confess?' etc etc. It's driving me insane! I keep thinking there's no smoke without fire and surely even with a low IQ you don't randomly confess to raping or murdering someone?! We will never know! Aarrgh!
These made me cry
Just had to do a quick blog post about the wonderful Anna Lewis and her artwork - I stumbled across her on Instagram and every single one of her beautiful drawings resonated with me. Most of them had me sniffing in tears. They absolutely sum up what motherhood is like, and I feel like buying and framing them all (except that would be quite weird and I'd probably cry everytime I looked at them, which might make getting things done around the house difficult).
My absolute favourite is this one below and I'll be ordering it for sure - it's so simple, so poignant, so damn TRUE and I just love it. Check her out on Etsy, Facebook and Twitter. And grab some tissues first. Sniff.
The truth about parenting sleep deprivation
You will start writing this post eighteen times before finishing it.
A 'good' night will be one when you sleep for more than three hours in a row. You will feel like superwoman after this night. Ideas will flow, ambitions will be unsurpassed. YOU WILL BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING THAT DAY.
If your baby does decide to sleep for more than three hours in a row, you'll be terrified they've died. So you won't be able to sleep anyway because you'll keep leaning over their cot to hear them breathe, and probably waking them up in the process.
People will ask you how your weekend was, and you will have absolutely no idea. Even though it's only Monday.
Mothers whose babies sleep through the night will offer you unsolicited pearls of wisdom and you will understand what it is like to feel murderous rage. Topped off with a side of shame and failure.
'Have you tried a bedtime routine?' *headdesk*
It will become a twisted badge of honour to proclaim to anyone who will listen: 'Well, I didn't even sleep well when I was pregnant. So technically I haven't slept through the night since LAST JULY! Ha ha ha!'
Your dreams, when you have them and actually remember them, will have you considering a course of therapy... 'I did what with WHO?'
If you succumb to co-sleeping in desperation, you may wake your partner one night in a panic and scream 'where's the baby? WHERE'S THE BABY?' while pawing at the bed in the dark, not realising that she's actually - shock horror - happily asleep in her OWN COT.
Co-sleeping will turn you into the Hunchback of Notre Dame. So long as the baby's comfy right?
One night in the depth of the antisocial hours, you will pick up your partner's arm, instead of the baby, and try to put it back in its cot*. You will yank it and yank it and wonder why it isn't moving. Your partner will be so tired he will barely notice.
Many an evening will come when, while trying to get the baby to sleep using tried-and-failed methods such as shushing and stroking, you will fall asleep yourself.
You will shush until you faint.
No sheep will ever let you down like Ewan the Dream Sheep. Promised so much, delivered so little.
You will look back on the nights pre-baby when you had a mild bout of insomnia, or a bit of jet lag, and remember how you felt you WERE SO TIRED YOU COULDN'T FUNCTION. And you will laugh hollow laughter as you inject coffee into your eyeballs and try to do life admin while looking after a screaming baby, having slept for about thirty five minutes the previous night.
There will come at time when, at 4am and when your infant is singing away to herself with no intention of sleeping, you will burst into tears. And you'll just go for it. Really let loose - proper sobs. Accompanied by cries of: 'It's not fair! IT'S NOT FAIR! WHY DOESN'T SHE WANT TO SLEEP!!'. And your baby will be so shocked at the noise, she'll shut up and fall asleep.
Hunt-the-dummy in the pitch dark will become your newest and most hated game.
There will be approximately sixteen dummies in your bedroom - in the cot, in your bed, under your bed, in your hair... yet you will never be able to find one before the crying escalates to screaming.
You will consider using earplugs to drown out your baby's night-time singsongs but then be terrified of accidentally dropping one in their cot and having them swallow it. You will ball your fists as you realise even these small solutions are denied to you.
Your baby will often decide that the day should start at 5.30am. Nothing you do will persuade her to go back to sleep. So you will begrudgingly get up, pour yourself an enormous mug of tea, rub your eyes and entertain her, only to have her YAWN at you. For real.
Every now and then your baby will shock you by not waking up at her usual time in the middle of the night. But of course you still will. Ha ha.
*I actually did this. Sorry Oli.